What I Really Fear The Most

It is well known that Aspergians are uncomfortable with social interactions.  In my own case, that discomfort has often escalated to paralyzing fear, especially where interactions with women are concerned.  I have struggled with this fear for many years, along with my difficulty in explaining it to those of the neurotypical persuasion.  I will tell you point blank that the fear of rejection is by no means my greatest fear.

I recently found an online article about the club scene in and around Chicago's near southwestern suburbs (Berwyn, Cicero, Stickney, etc) that best summarizes my fears.  I live approximately 40 km away from this area.  This article is a stern warning to all singles (especially men) to stay away from all bars and nightclubs in the area.  These establishments are "strictly for couples and groups of 3 or more", and completely off limits to singles.  Patrons of these places are known to complain to club management, as well as call the police and press criminal charges, on any single person who does something so harmless as glancing their way at their favorite hangout, even felony charges like harassment and stalking. These charges don't necessarily have to be filed by the ladies themselves.  If it weren't bad enough to be physically beaten to a bloody pulp by a possessive husband/boyfriend, I would also face the strong possibility of serious jail time just for trying to approach someone I find attractive.  I usually go to great lengths to avoid bars, night clubs, parties, and other social gatherings for these very reasons.

While the article refers only to the social scene of a particular area, I have to face this fear everywhere I go, such as at work or at the gym, and in everything I do, even in my online interactions. I have been threatened with such charges on several occasions myself, one of which forced me to resign from my job and move away from where I was living at the time.  I have permanently deleted my Facebook, MySpace, and Google+ accounts for this very reason.

I never intend any offense or disrespect towards anyone.  If I am somewhere and I ever get wind that someone is uncomfortable with me being there, then I will leave and never return.  If you ask me to leave you alone, then I will not only comply with your request but I will go to great lengths to ensure that our paths will never cross again, in either the real world or the virtual world, even if that means resigning from my job and leaving town for good.  I am really much more reasonable than many people believe me to be.

Text Before Calling

Hi.  Many of you have probably noticed by now that I prefer to send you a text or email before calling you on the phone.  I make a considerable effort to strictly adhere to this personal policy as a gesture of respect.  I am merely trying to be very considerate and respectful by not calling you when you're working or otherwise occupied.  I would love to chat with you, preferably in person, at a mutually convenient time.  I also have a very busy schedule and ask that you please extend the same courtesy to me.  I usually turn my phone off while I'm at work in accordance with a company policy I am charged with enforcing.  What right have I to enforce a rule or policy unless I intend to abide by it myself?

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation in this matter.