Lawless 2.0

After a very successful 4-week Specialisterne Autism@Work program at Deloitte in Lake Mary, Florida, I am about to make a radical change in my life.  I have received, and accepted, a temporary position as a Cyber Risk Intern at Deloitte.  If all goes well with the 12-week well-paid internship, then I will be working there on a regular permanent basis.  It has become very self-evident that Deloitte is a firm that really knows how to take care of its people with its supportive and nurturing corporate culture.  The journey begins on Monday, 3 June 2019 after celebrating my retirement from a 30-year career in food service and delivery with a hard-earned and badly-needed holiday at sea with Heather.  I would like to thank her for her love and support during this very challenging period in my life.  The only downside to the career change is that Heather and I will be living apart during the regular workweek, which is better than a 2-hour commute in each direction.  She will move down to Lake Mary during the Fall of 2019, once she retires from her county government job.  She has taken good care of me for the last 3+ years.  Now it's my turn to take even better care of her.

Lawless 1.0 is dead...and good riddance!  Lawless 2.0 is here!

Silent Running

There are many people around me who criticize my self-effacing style.  My preferred style as of late is to draw as little attention to myself as possible, or in other words, make certain that my presence is as inconspicuous as possible wherever I happen to be.  In order to not "offend" or "bother" others, I paid heed to my late father's advice to "keep my mouth shut and stay out of sight."  I have been taught at home and at church that modesty and humility are noble virtues for me to live by.  Perhaps I have taken those lessons to heart a little bit too strongly.  Self-effacement is commonly defined as the extreme application of humility and modesty.  The old adage, "Speak only when spoken to", also plays into the policy of self-effacement.  My typical response to those criticisms is an explanation that for many years I have equated self-effacement with survival.

Silent Running is not just for submarines anymore.

A New Beginning

We just want to share our story with you of how the best things can happen when you least expect them. When both of us booked our cruises individually, neither one of us expected to meet our life partner. In fact, we were both wondering if that person really existed at all.

Bill's story...

At the time of my very first cruise aboard the Norwegian Epic during Christmas 2013 with my family, I was resigned to the cruise being a once in a lifetime experience. I had such a wonderful time aboard the Epic that I had become addicted to the cruising lifestyle and it was then I decided to make a cruise an annual event. While on the Epic, I learned about the Studio cabins and special activities for solo travelers. With my 50th birthday coming up, I decided to use my income tax refund to book one of these Studio cabins. When I embarked on my very first solo cruise on 25 July 2015 aboard the Norwegian Getaway, all I wanted to do was to celebrate my 50th birthday in a very special way.

I first learned about Heather when I logged onto the Roll Call thread on Cruise Critic. Each of us were regular contributors to this particular thread. We have so much in common that I knew I had to meet her once we were all on board. When we first met in the Studio Lounge on Embarkation Day, during an informal gathering of my fellow solo travelers immediately after the Muster Drill, I was not to be disappointed.

It turned out that I was to host the Cruise Critic Meet & Greet with the Officers on our first sea day. This gathering was my very first Meet & Greet so I had no idea what to expect. Heather and I had such a great time that we produced our very first video project together, which is now available on YouTube.

Heather's story...

When I initially made my vacation plans for the last week of July 2015, I was planning on driving to another state to see some friends and celebrate my 43rd birthday with them. About three weeks before I was to leave on my road trip, those plans fell through, leaving me wondering what to do for a vacation. The first thing that popped into my mind was a cruise--definitely the ideal way to spend a birthday. Having been on 3 cruises with my now ex-husband, I was no stranger to cruising. The first of those cruises was on the Norwegian Sun in January 2003. While I enjoyed it, the husband wasn't crazy about it, so the next two cruises were on another line before he and I eventually split up. I wanted to give NCL another try and the solo cabins appealed to me, so I booked one exactly 3 weeks to the day before sailing. I was really looking forward to a week of rest, relaxation, and fun.

Bill actually came onto my radar before we left Miami on July 25th. Shortly after booking the cruise, I logged onto Cruise Critic and found the Roll Call thread for the July 25th sailing of the Getaway and I introduced myself. As I was scrolling through the posts, I noticed that he had been posting fairly frequently. I was totally intrigued by what this man had to say. I knew I had to meet him once we were all on board. The informal meeting of the solo travelers in the Studio Lounge after the muster drill on embarkation day would be the perfect opportunity.

We finally meet...

Within a matter of a few short hours of boarding the Getaway, we met in the Studio Lounge and we totally hit it off. We became so engrossed in conversation with each other that we completely missed the Sailaway Party. After our first dinner date in the Garden Café that evening, we went up to the Freestyle Sun Deck on Deck 18. It was there, under a starry sky on a sultry night at sea, that we shared our first kiss at the front of the ship in accordance with maritime tradition. Since that fateful first night, with the exception of a couple of separately booked shore excursions, we were practically inseparable.

Upon learning that our birthdays were two days apart from each other, we celebrated our respective birthdays together with two very romantic dinners at the Taste, complete with an ocean view table which set the perfect atmosphere. Returning to our respective cabins only to find birthday decorations on the wall and various treats on our beds was certainly an unforgettable experience. What a great birthday celebration it was for both of us!

The next 4 months saw a developing long-distance relationship where we would visit each other for 4 days each month and talk on the phone for about 2 hours every night. Thank Verizon Wireless for unlimited talk and text! She would fly from Orlando to Chicago one month and I would fly down from Chicago to Orlando the next month. On my first visit to Gainesville, I proposed to Heather...and she accepted! I presented her with her engagement ring when she flew up for Thanksgiving Weekend. My mother and my sister threw her a surprise bridal shower while I was at work. Just a few days after Christmas, I resigned from my job as a General Manager at a Papa John's Pizza restaurant near Chicago, packed up my car, and moved out of my parents' house down to Heather's apartment in Gainesville, staying over at her parents' house in southern Tennessee along the way.

To make a long story short, we had converted our reservations for two separate Studio cabins to an interior cabin for what will now be our Honeymoon Cruise aboard the Norwegian Escape for the sailing on 23 July 2016. We married in a civil ceremony on 8 January 2016 at the Alachua County Civil Courthouse in Gainesville, Florida. Having met each other aboard the Getaway, we promised each other that we would take a cruise every year. This is one promise that we are determined to keep.

We have recently returned to Facebook, but we are also active on Twitter (with the handles @WDLawless1, @Heatherdw20, and @LawlessWaters). I recently attended an orientation session at CARD, primarily for parents of children on the spectrum, at the University of Florida. After listening to the staff presentations and the stories of the parents, I thought the time was right to share my own story about life on the spectrum and my recent marriage to Heather, as well as my avid desire to offer whatever assistance I can provide to CARD and to the autistic community at large. I would absolutely love to make a new career writing and speaking about autism-related subjects from a personal perspective. While a limited amount of research is available regarding relationships where one partner is on the spectrum, I have yet to find any research at all regarding relationships where both partners are on the spectrum...like us.

When not working as a Delivery Expert at Domino's or as a driver for Uber in Gainesville, I enjoy working out at the gym, traveling, writing, music, and hanging out with Heather. I also play keyboards and guitars in the worship band at Harvest Christian Church. Self-improvement has become my new focused obsession, in the form of daily workouts, adding Ballroom Dance classes, Etiquette classes, Dress for Success classes, Toastmasters meetings, and Leadership Development classes as out time and finances permit. Once I work out all the details, I would like to create a Lifestyle Enhancement Program from these components. I am also working on a proposal for the creation of a special housing unit at UF for students on the spectrum, which would ideally be a converted fraternity/sorority house on campus.

My Thoughts On The Cruise

After taking my very first cruise on the Norwegian Epic during Christmas Week 2013, I made a promise to take a cruise every year. Well, I kept that promise by sailing on the Norwegian Getaway for my 50th birthday celebration...and what a celebration it was! Like several of my fellow travelers, I tossed and turned several nights leading up to the cruise because I was so excited. 

The experience began on the morning of embarkation when two NCL staff members waited for my arrival at the Baggage Claim Area at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport and escorted me to the bus. We arrived at the Port of Miami about 45 minutes later. Once through the security and check-in lines (I am a Bronze-Tier Latitudes Rewards member), I stopped at O'Sheehan's for lunch. I went to Guest Services in an unsuccessful attempt to join the Vibe Beach Club, which sold out while I was waiting in line. That was the only real negative about the cruise. I finally arrived in Stateroom 11573, my Studio Cabin. The little cabin is perfect for the solo traveler and located only a few meters from the Studio Lounge, where I met several of my fellow solo travelers right after the Muster Drill. One of these fellow travelers turned out to become the love of my life, and the best part is that Heather is a fellow Aspergian.  Paquito, the Solo Traveler Coordinator, deserves full marks for his efforts to make us feel right at home. We participated in several social gatherings, such as group dinners and shows, which were a lot of fun and created a bond between many of us in the group. 

I would like to thank Cruise Director J.C. Sanchez and all of the other officers for making our Meet and Greet session a most memorable experience. 

While I never dined in any of the specialty restaurants, I was very impressed with the quality and variety of food in the Garden Cafe. Heather and I had several lovely dinners at the Taste, including on our respective birthdays. Special thanks go out to Edna, our waitress at the Taste, for her excellent service. We liked the food at the Tropicana Room, where a group of solo travelers had one dinner. However, our table was too close to the dance floor for us to enjoy a good conversation due to the loud music. 

The entertainment was very good. "Burn The Floor" was the best of the main shows, although "Legally Blonde" was also very good. The comedians at Headliners were good, although I liked the opening act slightly better. The Glow Party was an experience not to be missed. I really enjoyed watching the fireworks show from one of the hot tubs. 

Among the shore excursions, I found the St. John Champagne Catamaran Sail & Snorkel to be my favorite. Captain Teresa and the lovely ladies making up her crew made the trip a lot of fun. I followed that with a trip up to Paradise Point, where the views were spectacular. The food and drinks, however, were a bit pricey for middling quality. I really enjoyed the trip to the Baths at Virgin Gorda, although I wish we had a little more time to enjoy the beach. There is very little shopping near the port in Tortola, although that will change once the construction is completed. Although I am not all that wild about Nassau, I really had a lot of fun on the parasailing adventure. I liked the great variety of shopping near the port. 

Believe it or not, I tackled the Free Fall Water Slide...twice and then walked the plank on the ropes course. That was a lot of fun. 

Disembarkation was the saddest part of the trip because I had to say a tearful goodbye to Heather and go back home to reality. We already booked next year's cruise aboard the NCL Escape. We can hardly wait. 

An Aspergian At Sea

Hi.  A lot has happened since my last post.  I am less than one week from embarking on my first solo cruise aboard the Norwegian Getaway.  I will celebrate the Big 5-0 while on this cruise and have made several major investments in preparing for the trip.

Several weeks ago, I summoned the courage to sign up for ballroom dance lessons at a dance studio in Tinley Park, Illinois.  I have weekly lessons focusing on the Rumba, Salsa, and East Coast Swing. Much to my surprise, I actually have a sense of rhythm!  I reckon that being a "closet musician" actually works to my advantage.  Another advantage is that I am learning to dance to music with which I grew up, classic rock and oldies.  As my dancing improves, so will my self-confidence.  I am already feeling the changes in my own social interactions.

Today, I went down to a quarry near Bradley, Illinois for my first snorkeling lesson.  I can hardly wait to go snorkeling in the Caribbean, as part of a shore excursion in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands. Breathing through a tube in my mouth was initially very uncomfortable, but I am starting to become more comfortable with practice.  I forgot to bring my waterproof video camera.  Oh well.  Another personal obstacle goes by the wayside.  I completed the academic and open-water segments of the class today.  I am starting to open up.  Wow!

I have also joined an Online Roll Call for the cruise and have successfully arranged a Meet and Greet session with the Getaway's officers and 30 of my fellow travelers.  This session will take place on Sunday, the first full day at sea.  I look forward to meeting my fellow travelers.

Next on my agenda after the cruise are Etiquette and Dress For Success classes, as well as monthly Toastmasters meetings on the Governors State University campus.  GSU is my Alma Mater.  In addition to the Ballroom Dance classes and daily workouts, these classes will form the components of a project that I would like to submit to school districts for the enhancement of students' lives.  I will discuss this project in greater detail in future posts.

What I Really Fear The Most

It is well known that Aspergians are uncomfortable with social interactions.  In my own case, that discomfort has often escalated to paralyzing fear, especially where interactions with women are concerned.  I have struggled with this fear for many years, along with my difficulty in explaining it to those of the neurotypical persuasion.  I will tell you point blank that the fear of rejection is by no means my greatest fear.

I recently found an online article about the club scene in and around Chicago's near southwestern suburbs (Berwyn, Cicero, Stickney, etc) that best summarizes my fears.  I live approximately 40 km away from this area.  This article is a stern warning to all singles (especially men) to stay away from all bars and nightclubs in the area.  These establishments are "strictly for couples and groups of 3 or more", and completely off limits to singles.  Patrons of these places are known to complain to club management, as well as call the police and press criminal charges, on any single person who does something so harmless as glancing their way at their favorite hangout, even felony charges like harassment and stalking. These charges don't necessarily have to be filed by the ladies themselves.  If it weren't bad enough to be physically beaten to a bloody pulp by a possessive husband/boyfriend, I would also face the strong possibility of serious jail time just for trying to approach someone I find attractive.  I usually go to great lengths to avoid bars, night clubs, parties, and other social gatherings for these very reasons.

While the article refers only to the social scene of a particular area, I have to face this fear everywhere I go, such as at work or at the gym, and in everything I do, even in my online interactions. I have been threatened with such charges on several occasions myself, one of which forced me to resign from my job and move away from where I was living at the time.  I have permanently deleted my Facebook, MySpace, and Google+ accounts for this very reason.

I never intend any offense or disrespect towards anyone.  If I am somewhere and I ever get wind that someone is uncomfortable with me being there, then I will leave and never return.  If you ask me to leave you alone, then I will not only comply with your request but I will go to great lengths to ensure that our paths will never cross again, in either the real world or the virtual world, even if that means resigning from my job and leaving town for good.  I am really much more reasonable than many people believe me to be.

Text Before Calling

Hi.  Many of you have probably noticed by now that I prefer to send you a text or email before calling you on the phone.  I make a considerable effort to strictly adhere to this personal policy as a gesture of respect.  I am merely trying to be very considerate and respectful by not calling you when you're working or otherwise occupied.  I would love to chat with you, preferably in person, at a mutually convenient time.  I also have a very busy schedule and ask that you please extend the same courtesy to me.  I usually turn my phone off while I'm at work in accordance with a company policy I am charged with enforcing.  What right have I to enforce a rule or policy unless I intend to abide by it myself?

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation in this matter.