My Thoughts On The Cruise

After taking my very first cruise on the Norwegian Epic during Christmas Week 2013, I made a promise to take a cruise every year. Well, I kept that promise by sailing on the Norwegian Getaway for my 50th birthday celebration...and what a celebration it was! Like several of my fellow travelers, I tossed and turned several nights leading up to the cruise because I was so excited. 

The experience began on the morning of embarkation when two NCL staff members waited for my arrival at the Baggage Claim Area at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport and escorted me to the bus. We arrived at the Port of Miami about 45 minutes later. Once through the security and check-in lines (I am a Bronze-Tier Latitudes Rewards member), I stopped at O'Sheehan's for lunch. I went to Guest Services in an unsuccessful attempt to join the Vibe Beach Club, which sold out while I was waiting in line. That was the only real negative about the cruise. I finally arrived in Stateroom 11573, my Studio Cabin. The little cabin is perfect for the solo traveler and located only a few meters from the Studio Lounge, where I met several of my fellow solo travelers right after the Muster Drill. One of these fellow travelers turned out to become the love of my life, and the best part is that Heather is a fellow Aspergian.  Paquito, the Solo Traveler Coordinator, deserves full marks for his efforts to make us feel right at home. We participated in several social gatherings, such as group dinners and shows, which were a lot of fun and created a bond between many of us in the group. 

I would like to thank Cruise Director J.C. Sanchez and all of the other officers for making our Meet and Greet session a most memorable experience. 

While I never dined in any of the specialty restaurants, I was very impressed with the quality and variety of food in the Garden Cafe. Heather and I had several lovely dinners at the Taste, including on our respective birthdays. Special thanks go out to Edna, our waitress at the Taste, for her excellent service. We liked the food at the Tropicana Room, where a group of solo travelers had one dinner. However, our table was too close to the dance floor for us to enjoy a good conversation due to the loud music. 

The entertainment was very good. "Burn The Floor" was the best of the main shows, although "Legally Blonde" was also very good. The comedians at Headliners were good, although I liked the opening act slightly better. The Glow Party was an experience not to be missed. I really enjoyed watching the fireworks show from one of the hot tubs. 

Among the shore excursions, I found the St. John Champagne Catamaran Sail & Snorkel to be my favorite. Captain Teresa and the lovely ladies making up her crew made the trip a lot of fun. I followed that with a trip up to Paradise Point, where the views were spectacular. The food and drinks, however, were a bit pricey for middling quality. I really enjoyed the trip to the Baths at Virgin Gorda, although I wish we had a little more time to enjoy the beach. There is very little shopping near the port in Tortola, although that will change once the construction is completed. Although I am not all that wild about Nassau, I really had a lot of fun on the parasailing adventure. I liked the great variety of shopping near the port. 

Believe it or not, I tackled the Free Fall Water Slide...twice and then walked the plank on the ropes course. That was a lot of fun. 

Disembarkation was the saddest part of the trip because I had to say a tearful goodbye to Heather and go back home to reality. We already booked next year's cruise aboard the NCL Escape. We can hardly wait. 

An Aspergian At Sea

Hi.  A lot has happened since my last post.  I am less than one week from embarking on my first solo cruise aboard the Norwegian Getaway.  I will celebrate the Big 5-0 while on this cruise and have made several major investments in preparing for the trip.

Several weeks ago, I summoned the courage to sign up for ballroom dance lessons at a dance studio in Tinley Park, Illinois.  I have weekly lessons focusing on the Rumba, Salsa, and East Coast Swing. Much to my surprise, I actually have a sense of rhythm!  I reckon that being a "closet musician" actually works to my advantage.  Another advantage is that I am learning to dance to music with which I grew up, classic rock and oldies.  As my dancing improves, so will my self-confidence.  I am already feeling the changes in my own social interactions.

Today, I went down to a quarry near Bradley, Illinois for my first snorkeling lesson.  I can hardly wait to go snorkeling in the Caribbean, as part of a shore excursion in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands. Breathing through a tube in my mouth was initially very uncomfortable, but I am starting to become more comfortable with practice.  I forgot to bring my waterproof video camera.  Oh well.  Another personal obstacle goes by the wayside.  I completed the academic and open-water segments of the class today.  I am starting to open up.  Wow!

I have also joined an Online Roll Call for the cruise and have successfully arranged a Meet and Greet session with the Getaway's officers and 30 of my fellow travelers.  This session will take place on Sunday, the first full day at sea.  I look forward to meeting my fellow travelers.

Next on my agenda after the cruise are Etiquette and Dress For Success classes, as well as monthly Toastmasters meetings on the Governors State University campus.  GSU is my Alma Mater.  In addition to the Ballroom Dance classes and daily workouts, these classes will form the components of a project that I would like to submit to school districts for the enhancement of students' lives.  I will discuss this project in greater detail in future posts.

What I Really Fear The Most

It is well known that Aspergians are uncomfortable with social interactions.  In my own case, that discomfort has often escalated to paralyzing fear, especially where interactions with women are concerned.  I have struggled with this fear for many years, along with my difficulty in explaining it to those of the neurotypical persuasion.  I will tell you point blank that the fear of rejection is by no means my greatest fear.

I recently found an online article about the club scene in and around Chicago's near southwestern suburbs (Berwyn, Cicero, Stickney, etc) that best summarizes my fears.  I live approximately 40 km away from this area.  This article is a stern warning to all singles (especially men) to stay away from all bars and nightclubs in the area.  These establishments are "strictly for couples and groups of 3 or more", and completely off limits to singles.  Patrons of these places are known to complain to club management, as well as call the police and press criminal charges, on any single person who does something so harmless as glancing their way at their favorite hangout, even felony charges like harassment and stalking. These charges don't necessarily have to be filed by the ladies themselves.  If it weren't bad enough to be physically beaten to a bloody pulp by a possessive husband/boyfriend, I would also face the strong possibility of serious jail time just for trying to approach someone I find attractive.  I usually go to great lengths to avoid bars, night clubs, parties, and other social gatherings for these very reasons.

While the article refers only to the social scene of a particular area, I have to face this fear everywhere I go, such as at work or at the gym, and in everything I do, even in my online interactions. I have been threatened with such charges on several occasions myself, one of which forced me to resign from my job and move away from where I was living at the time.  I have permanently deleted my Facebook, MySpace, and Google+ accounts for this very reason.

I never intend any offense or disrespect towards anyone.  If I am somewhere and I ever get wind that someone is uncomfortable with me being there, then I will leave and never return.  If you ask me to leave you alone, then I will not only comply with your request but I will go to great lengths to ensure that our paths will never cross again, in either the real world or the virtual world, even if that means resigning from my job and leaving town for good.  I am really much more reasonable than many people believe me to be.

Text Before Calling

Hi.  Many of you have probably noticed by now that I prefer to send you a text or email before calling you on the phone.  I make a considerable effort to strictly adhere to this personal policy as a gesture of respect.  I am merely trying to be very considerate and respectful by not calling you when you're working or otherwise occupied.  I would love to chat with you, preferably in person, at a mutually convenient time.  I also have a very busy schedule and ask that you please extend the same courtesy to me.  I usually turn my phone off while I'm at work in accordance with a company policy I am charged with enforcing.  What right have I to enforce a rule or policy unless I intend to abide by it myself?

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation in this matter.

No More Social Networking

I have discovered, much to my great horror, that social networking websites are totally addictive and a serious threat to my personal privacy and security.  I found that I was on Facebook several hours a day, wasting time that should have been spent doing more important work.  Except for my immediate family, nearly all of my Facebook "friends" were people I have not seen or heard from since high school.  I was wasting my time reading about everyone else's drama.  Granted, only with a random visit to a friend's Facebook page did I find out about her untimely death, several weeks later.  I had known earlier that she was diagnosed with cancer and that her (third) husband had recently passed away.  During my last phone conversation with her, she told me that she was leaving for Michigan to visit her family.  I suspected that she was going there to spend her final days with her family, and my suspicion proved to be accurate.  The worst of it was that I never had a chance to say a proper goodbye to her.  I must also concede that I found out about my 30-year Class Reunion through Facebook.  I also realized that while social networking has its benefits for many people, it is no longer for me.

Despite the fact that I had set my security and privacy on Facebook and Google+ to the maximum security levels and that I have usually been very careful about what I posted on these sites, I have come to the realization that what I had intended as innocuous remarks had been taken out of their intended context by people for whom those remarks were not intended, possibly endangering my life and those of people who I hold very dear.  Furthermore, I believe that neither the Government nor private companies have any business snooping about my private affairs.

Therefore, after many months of agonizing contemplation and several discussions with my attorney, I have finally acted on my decision to permanently delete my Facebook and Google+ accounts.  For professional reasons, I am maintaining my LinkedIn account for the short term.  It is far better to have a small number of real close friends than it is to have hundreds of fake friends. 

You can still contact me via my personal website, BillLawless.me , or via this blog.  The official websites for my novels, toplessdelivery.com and foreverautumn.us, are still active and have some new features.  Please be sure to check them out.

A New Calling

I think I may have found my true calling.  After creating three websites in as many weeks, my personal website and one for each of my two novels, I would love to pursue a new career in website design or somewhere in the field of information technology (IT).

My personal website

My novels' websites are:

"Topless Delivery - The Myrtle Beach Experience"

"Forever Autumn - The Myrtle Beach Experience Continues"

Website design and development would be an ideal career for someone who is creative but uncomfortable dealing with the public all the time.  I would like to take some courses in cybersecurity as well as HTML, XML, and Java programming before I make it a career.

50th Anniversary Reception

Today is my parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary. My sisters and I are throwing a fancy reception for them tonight. Social events have always been a major challenge for me, as with most Aspergians, but tonight will be particularly difficult with many of my relatives in town. I think I was wise to not invite a guest for she would have been subjected to intense interrogation by my entire family. I feel like it's just another "dog and pony show" where I am under enormous pressure to make a good impression on everyone. I am keeping a very low profile tonight.